24

Hello all!

I don't know who is reading this. I don't know if anyone is reading this.
But I just want to write about what I'm thinking about right now... because honestly it's been on my mind for a while now.

Today's date.
June 24th.

For some of you... the number has no significance whatsoever.
For others... you know right off hand what I'm talking about when I say this is the most depressing day in the year.

On exactly June 24th, 2011, I pulled away from my home in Ohio and drove all the way here- Hampton Virginia.

I remember everything like it just happened yesterday.
It so doesn't feel like a whole entire year has passed.

I remember the 21st; it felt like it was my last free night in a long time. My family and I went to the Shouster Center to see the Broadway Musical, Lion King. It was so amazing. I don't even have words to explain it.

I remember the 22nd, too. The moving truck was in front of our house, and everything inside the house was in boxes. So many boxes.
Bright and early in the morning, my family and I got up and started putting some of the things into the truck.
A few hours later, some of my friends came over and helped loaded and soaked up every second with me that they could. It was Nell, Erin, and Alyssa.
Megan, Maddie, and Sophie couldn't come.
I remember exactly which ones came over and which ones said that they couldn't come, and I cried and cried over them, thinking how I didn't know when I would see them next.
I remember enjoying every second with my friends, even ignoring the prolonging sadness that sat behind us.
We tried to pretend it wasn't there, but it was and we couldn't deny it in the end.
They gave me a scrapbook of so many pictures of me and them. Also, each one wrote a little note or a song or a poem or drew a picture for me. I remember sitting around in my empty living room going through it, page by page, reading every little thing, and the tears that were free falling across everyone's faces.

I remember we were taking a break and sitting on the sidewalk eating pizza and drinking pop.
We saw a spider.
We freaked out.
Erin poured 7-Up, Coke, and water on it, but it would not die!!!
Eventually, we lost track of it and went back inside.

Later that night, all of my friends left except for Nell. It was planned for her to stay with me and spend the night for what we knew would be our last sleepover in a long long time.
We stayed up so so late, long past the rest of my family.
In fact, I remember when we were just starting to settle down on my floor in our sleeping bags. I had my ipod plugged into my dock, and I had just set it onto a slow acoustic song to get us tired and go to sleep.
Something on my wall caught my eyes, and my head jerked up.

It was a spider.
On my wall.

For those of you who know me, I don't do well (at all) with spiders.

I stared at it wide eyes for a few seconds (even though it felt so much longer than that).
I screamed and jumped out of the room and to the bathroom and grabbed some toilet paper to kill the thing (yes, I was being very very brave, I know.)

As I tried to catch it, I tripped over the cord for my ipod dock. It tipped over, my ipod fell out, causing it so shuffle, and it started blasting a song.
Smooth, I know.

My mom showed up at my door and half asleep she asked what was going on.
I tried to explain to her that we had just settled down to sleep with an acoustic song on, when I saw a spider.
She only told us to go to sleep.

We laid there in the dark for quite some time, cracking up about what had just happened.
She later told me that she had thought my loft bed (which had not been taken out of my room yet) was about to fall or there was a giant crack in my wall or something. That's how much I freaked her out over that spider.

What was it with us and spiders?

I remember the next day, June 23rd.
I woke up with Nell the next morning on the floor of my almost empty room. And besides a closet full of clothes, a suitcase, my guitar, my loft, and the scrapbook, it was empty.
Jessica came over and helped move some more into the truck. So did some of my mom's friends.
I remember we would just sit on the back of the truck when we weren't doing anything, and we would take pictures or talk about the guy that was walking down the street.
I remember when Jessica had to leave first.
It was so hard. Just like it was saying goodbye to Erin and Alyssa the day before.

I kept telling her, it's not goodbye, it’s not goodbye.

I hate that word.
Goodbye.
Just say "See you soon," or "See ya!" or something like that.
That's what I always do now, and personally, I think it’s a good habit to be in.
I just hate the word goodbye.

But anyway, finally her mom pulled us apart and said, "It's not gonna get any easier. We should go."
And I remember that moment so clearly in my brain.
It's etched in there pretty good.
The words.
The surrounding.
The people.
The pain.

What surprised me though... I didn't cry. Not once did I shed a tear. It hurt so badly, but I didn't cry. Despite being the crier that I am.

Then it was just me and Nell. There was nothing left to do though. We had put all my stuff in the truck, even my loft. All that was left in my room was my guitar and my suitcase I finally packed, and my ipod with the dock.
That's all we did for the longest time. Sat around and listened to Taylor Swift while I played along a little bit.

All of the sudden Erin and Alyssa burst into my room to say their final goodbyes. They were heading off to the Greene and stopped by on their way over. There were so many tears, but still, none by me.
The pain still hurt so bad.

The very last one to leave was Nell. Her brother came and picked her up, and I remember walking her out to her car. We gave one final big hug and almost didn't let go. It was too hard.
But she got into the car and they drove off.

I started to walk back up to the house, calmly and secure.
But that didn't last long. I ended up running up the sidewalk so I could get into the house and into my room before the tears began to waterfall.

It was as if I could hold all my tears, until the last friend was gone.
And it really did feel as if they were gone.
As if I would never ever see them again.

I sat there in a corner in my empty room and wrote and wrote and wrote in my journal. I listened to my ipod, even though all it did was torture me, with songs like When She Cries and Don't Forget to Remember Me and I Will Always Return and Just Cry.
Songs like that.
Song after song after song.
I remember crying in there and writing and texting my friends... and everything was echoing and it was driving me insane. I was in my room. In my home. A home wasn't supposed to echo, to feel so empty.
It was one of the worst nights of my life.

After what felt like an eternity later, even though it was only a few hours, we finally settled down for the night.
Even though I was far from settled.
I was in my room, sleeping on the ground.
In a sleeping bag.

In a sleeping bag!!!!

It just wasn't right!
To be in my own house... in a sleeping bag. No bed, nothing.

I listened to my ipod and I can still remember what songs I was listening to.
I listened over and over to a band called Heartsong. The most played song was Give Me a Love.
I cried and cried and cried, for so many reasons.
One of the reasons was that I was listening to Heartsong, and I would never see them again and that I would be missing Cedarville  in 2012. It hurt so bad.
All the other reasons... well I think it’s kinda obvious.
The next morning I would be getting in the car and driving to Virginia.

Sure enough, June 24th, we did just that. It seemed like I sat in my room forever, though, just waiting to get it over with and just to leave if it was absolutely  no option to stay. Which it wasn't.
My cat, Torrie, was in her little carrier and was sat on my lap as we drove away and got the last glimpse of our Ohio home.
We had to take Torrie to a shelter, since no one wanted to adopt her that we knew, and we couldn't take her with us.
That was another reason for more tears.

I remember we were driving to the shelter where Nell volunteers at, and all the while I was texting her to take care of my baby, since she would be seeing her every now and then.

But then something amazing happened.

Well, we got there and there was a sign on the door to not bring in animals until you signed them in and paid at the front desk. So me and my brother stood outside with my cat in her carrier while mom and dad did that. While we were standing there, a guy walked out of the shelter doors and turned and looked at us.
"You givin' that cat up?" he asked.
I nodded.
He looked in her cage. "You wanna make sure she gets a good home?"
I nodded again.
He said, "I'll take her."
My parents walked out then and they talked it over for a second.
But get this- the guy had a buffalo bills shirt on and a navy hat on. So he's from Buffalo and he is in the navy and he used to be in the air force. So we let him have our precious cat.
He took my mom's phone number and promised to give updates and pictures and whatnot from time to time, and so far has been doing just that. :)

It was a gift from God, that man, and I know that. I told all my friends, and all was well.

Then, we stopped at Panera and had something to eat before starting our long journey to Virginia.
It was me and my dad in his car, and my brother and my mom in her car.
It was honestly the longest car ride of my life.

I remember we drove past some guys from my school, including one my friend had the biggest crush on.
I cried because there would be no more talking and joking and 'stalking' him anymore.
I remember we drove past our bus route and a pond where we had seen some hilarious ducks (you had to be there- it’s not even funny when I try to explain).
I cried because there would be no more laughing at the ducks.
I remember we drove past the Greene.
I cried because there would be no more good times there.
I remember when we started driving out of familiar territory.
I cried because that would be becoming the norm for us.

June 24th, 2011 was probably the worst day of my life.
The pain hurt so bad.
I was leaving the only life I had ever known behind.
I was leaving into a life that I knew nothing about. I knew absolutely nothing about what was ahead.
I just had to trust that it was in God's hands. And even that became a real struggle for me.
It was too hard, and there were way too many times where I felt like I just couldn't handle it anymore.

But since then, as much as I would have hated to admit it, I've been meeting people, making friends, and making myself a life right here in Virginia.
It took me forever, and unfortunately I had to learn it the hard way, but you know what I realized?

That it's not over.
That God was always with me, and He always will be with me.
Incredible, huh?
That the maker of the universe will never leave any of us.

Leaving Ohio is still a painful subject for me, but I've been growing to Virginia a whole lot lately, too.
There's still healing to have, but God is working on that in me as I type this.

Thank you Lord for everything You have done for me.
You are always there, and I know. It took me forever to learn, but I got it now.
I love You.
Thank You so much.

Thanks for reading. :) I know it was long haha. I pasted it into a Word document for spell check.... and this was over 6 pages. And I had deleted half of it already to write in another entry later on because I decided this was getting way too long.
Thanks so much. :)


Love,
Bridget Colleen <3

day 3 :)

So I just said on my last post that I was going to do two days of my challenge thing, and then I never did the third day. So here we go! :)

Day 3 – your favorite television program

T.V.? Honestly, to tell the complete total truth, I don't watch a lot of T.V.

Sometimes if I'm bored to tears I will turn it on and just watch whatever comes up. But for most cases, I just find something better to do with my time.

Now this doesn't mean that there are not any shows that I keep up with.

For the most part, I watch American Idol and America's Got Talent and some of the other singing shows. And even though it's not really on anymore and they stopped making new ones, I still watch Monk whenever it happens to come on.

Oh, and, of course, I do regularly watch NCIS and NCIS LA.

I love crime shows like that, even though I do have a weak stomach. When it comes to the blood and gore and when the doctor is digging through the dead body, I always turn my head. I get insanely grossed out by that sort of thing, even thought I love the rest of the show. It's just those little parts that I can't watch.

I don't know why I'm like that. I get so shaky and almost faint when it comes to things like blood or needles.

The other day, they were doing a blood drive at my school, during the school day. It was in the auditorium, on the stage, so I figured I wouldn't have anything to do with it, and all would be okay.

Little did I know.
I was walking to band class, but we all soon figured out that there were SOL retakes in the room right across from the band room. In other words, we weren't allowed to go into that hallway, let alone go into the band room and play our insturments. As a wonderful solution, our teacher told us to go into the auditorium and sit around in there for the whole period.
Does anyone else see my delima???
It was awful. I couldn't look at the stage. I made the mistake of accidently taking a peek once.... and it was a good thing I was already sitting down, let me tell you.

Well, anyways. I have absolutely no idea what that has to do with my favorite TV shows.
Thats just the effect of me talking my brain.

That's all for now, thanks! :)

more favorites :)

Okay, I know I haven't written in like a whole month. So today I'm going to knock out two days of my blog challenge thing.

Day 2 – your favorite movie

Favorite movie.
Hmm. that's another hard one.

I don't really watch very many of those. But maybe I'll try to think up something.

Hmmm....

I can't decide.
I like too many of the ones that I've seen.

Well, I love all the old kid movies like Finding Nemo, Monsters Inc, and Spirit. I've seen al three of those so many times that I wouldn't be able to count them.

Then, of course, I have a thing for romantic comedies or the sappy love stories like The Last Song and  Letters to Julliet.

There are so many more but I can't think of any right this minute to write. I love all kinds of movies :)

What are your favorite movies?

I just texted a few of my friends to take a poll about what theirs are.
Here are my responses:

Friend numbero uno: A Walk to Remember

Friend numero dos: Monte Carlo

Friend numero tres: The Princess Bride tied with Forrest Gump

Friend numero cuatro:

Well there you go! :)